Hey, teenage me
As I turn 30, here are 13 things I would tell my 13-year-old self
If there’s one thing that’s inevitable in this world, it’s the passage of time. Unless time travel becomes a reality, we humans cannot speed up time or slow it down. Hence, the process of ageing, too, is unavoidable.
As I complete 30 revolutions around the sun, I sat down and began to ponder about what life has taught me so far. Waiting to see what kind of rollercoaster rides the 30s bring, but neertheless, I realised I am definitely not the person I was 5 years or 10 years ago. And if I compare myself to when I was 13, there would be a drastic difference.
You see, just like any other teenager, I was too grappling with a lot of situations: growth-wise, body-wide, personality-wise, in terms of studies and extracurriculars. I didn’t know what I was doing in life, whether I was heading in the right direction towards my hazy goals. I was eating a lot, gaining plenty of weight and rebelling against my parents for various reasons. There was conflict and chaos amidst a plethora of dilemmas.
Today, I can definitely come up with some advice for my younger self which may strike a chord with you too. For all those who are 13, going on 30, (great movie!) wanting to tackle adulthood head on, I have some advice:
At the age of 30, here are 13 things I would tell my 13-year-old self:
1.Firstly, don’t pressurise yourself to be a certain way, do your own thing. In our teenage years, we carry the huge burden of peer pressure or ‘herd mentality’. If everyone is carrying a branded backpack, we want it too. The latest gadget on the market is definitely in our wishlist. But as you grow up, you’ll realise that not every latest gadget is what you need. Do your own thing, what YOU feel comfortable with and don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd!
2. Stop being a people-pleaser. It drains your energy, takes up your mindspace and that too for no reason. Stop agreeing with everyone on everything just to be nice. You are much better off saying no sometimes. And it’s impossible to please everyone in this world. So why even try?
3. Make memories and stop worrying. Stop obsessing over the way you look, what you are wearing or how you carry yourself. School time is the best time of your life! You can enjoy yourself without a care in the world (yes, you’ll realise it was like that, later) and without having to take on adult responsibilities. The obstacles which seem insurmountable, which take away your sleep right now will be a blip in your memory later on. Take a deep breath, drink some water, vent out to a friend and let it pass.
4. Read a lot, learn a language, upskill — it’s literally the best time to do it! Yes, you can take lessons later in life too. But trust me, the research too points to the fact that you learn better in your younger years. Whether you take up the piano or learn football, train well — it will stay with you for life.
5. Dress up nicely. Don’t go overboard with expensive or branded clothes. But a dressing up in a smart outfit with a little bit of effort can boost your confidence like nothing else. Clothes do matter, and you never know who you might run into, or which important meeting you may get called to! Never underestimate the power of cleaning up nicely or putting your natty self forward.
6. Work-life balance is really important. When choosing a career for yourself, always consider the basics. Chasing your dream may seem alluring but weigh in your priorities first and see if the dream job fits in with those. Another in-depth read on this:
7. Your perspective on your partner vis-a-vis other people’s perspective on your partner may be very different. More often than not, there is a difference in perspectives when it comes to your partner. We are oblivious to their shortcomings and we extol their virtues. But the sad part is, not everyone will see your partner the way you do. They may also not like him or her as much as you do. And that’s totally fine! Don’t get influenced by your friends and trust your instinct.
8. Keep your family close, they are going to be a rock solid support for you. Yes, you may not agree on a lot of things with them. But in the long run, they are who matter and THEY WILL BE THERE FOR YOU no matter what!
9. Looks DON’T matter, especially when searching for a partner. There are some characteristics which are far more important — a good heart, kindness, family values, empathy, understanding, a familiar bond. Attraction is important and should definitely be there, but there are other things which will overshadow them in the long run.
10. Express yourself! Life is too short to keep your thoughts inside. Share your gratitude with family and friends. Share discomfort or anguish if you feel the need to. Don’t keep it in — trust me, you’ll feel lighter.
11. Stay polite even in the face of adversity. If someone tries to aggravate or provoke you, stay calm and don’t react. If you lose your cool, it will just give them material to use against you. Politeness is a rare trait these days, and the more you stay polite and calm, the more the odds will bend in your favour.
12. Kindness wins every single time. Following up with the previous point, it’s vital to always be kind to other people: you never know what they may be going through. A little kindness goes a long way and gives you a place even in the heart of strangers! So, be kind.
13. Lastly, small things don’t matter. Fifteen or twenty years down the line, you’re hardly going to remember which subject you flunked in. Or which cousin you had a fight with. Our brains have a tendency to remember the good times mostly, and forget the minor bad times when we reflect in hindsight. Just realise that what seems super important right now may or may not matter in the long run. Focus on the big ticket things like your dreams, your family and your friends, and you’ll be good to go.
50 claps for YOU if you’ve read this far!
Do you have any learnings you would want to pass on to your teenage self? Fill in your thoughts comments section.
